flamingno asked: have you seen the "overheard in waitrose" facebook page yet

waitrose:

waitrose:

oh my god i haven’t??! i’m going to check it out right this second this sounds like it could be amazing

THIS IS GOLD

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Reblogged from a danger to canada

shaxaphone:

cute things to call your girlfriend:

1. sugar 
2. honey 
3. flour 
4. egg 
5. 1/2lb butter 
6. stir 
7. pour into pan 
8. preheat to 375°

Reblogged from hey there little mouse

ibeggedformercytwice:

ibeggedformercytwice:

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

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Oh bother.

Reblogged from a danger to canada

jackhawksmoor:

onlylolgifs:

Fish on Wheels

OH MY GOD HE’S OFF TO SEE THE WORLD

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HE’S LIKE A FISH ASTRONAUT LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE

Reblogged from Long Post Central

pipistrellus:

cornerof5thandvermouth:

takohai:

glitteringknight:

"Your highness" is gender neutral.

So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.

That’ll work.

alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”

so is “comrade,” motherfuckers

"citizen"

Reblogged from hey there little mouse

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Reblogged from hey there little mouse

needlekind:

thepsychoticunicorn:

Tumblr is really just a big blue High School Musical fansite and everybody knows it

I’M LOSING MY SHIT

Reblogged from a danger to canada
Reblogged from SOON
reginechassagnarly:

sign this right now
the goal of the non-binary petition is flawed, this one is much more realistic and has a serious concrete goal that will help people definitely more than harm them (which the nb petition has the possibility of doing) 

reginechassagnarly:

sign this right now

the goal of the non-binary petition is flawed, this one is much more realistic and has a serious concrete goal that will help people definitely more than harm them (which the nb petition has the possibility of doing) 

Reblogged from a danger to canada

plumbones:

destiny919:

greenhoused:

which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner

tumblr user greenhoused is asking the real questions

It doesn’t matter, because Nobody is going to criticize their makeup.

a-creepy-weirdo-has:

bitcheslovemyjingleballs:

a-creepy-weirdo-has:

what do birds do 

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I apologise for my ignorance, birds are important

Reblogged from a generated anomaly